A day in the life of:

A special day

2012-02-12T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today was a very special day. Hannah turned 7 today. My baby is getting big! But, that is not the only celebration we had today. Both Claire and Hannah got baptized today! My heart is full of joy! I am so honored to be mom to these two girls! It was an amazing experience seeing them both profess their love for Christ. Pastor Brad and Brandon baptized each of them. I still am tearing up as I am remembering back to this amazing afternoon. What joy!

A New Year

2012-01-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

2012. Wow! I can hardly believe how fast the past year has flown by. So much life has been lived in 2011; I started a grad program, Claire started a new school, gymnastics, piano, ballet, tap.... the list goes on and on. Our lives are very rich and full. Sometimes I can hardly stop to catch my breath! I love being busy. Don't get me wrong, I love having a full schedule. I thrive with the crazy afternoons rushing from school to swim! But, I also think that in the craziness I loose the magical moments. I don't take time to stop, even if just for a moment, and enjoy my family. I quickly find myself with no patience. So for 2012, I am making it my goal to slow down in the midst of a full schedule and enjoy the little moments. I want to look back on this year and see glimmers of joy, love, patience, and peace.

Here is to 2012! It is going to be a great year! I just know it!

Fall- my favorite time of year

2011-11-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

Life has been moving forward full speed ahead! I can't believe it is already November! The holidays are right around the corner. I love this time of year; the anticipation of the holidays, the beautiful change that fall brings, and the reflection of the end of a year. I am trying to slow down and savor the beauty of this time of year. It is so easy to rush through my day and forget to stop and breathe and enjoy. It is so worth the extra minute or two of not letting life rush me forward, but instead pressing pause and savoring the moment.

First Day of School

2011-08-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well Summer is officially over as of today. The girls started back to school today. I can't believe I have a First and Second grader! This year, Claire is attending the Gateway Academy at a different school, so this morning brought the struggle of who is dropping off who. It came down to Brandon taking Hannah and I taking Claire. I felt bad I wasn't there for Hannah, but I would have felt bad either way. Hard! We are swapping for pick up so I can be a part of both of their first day! It was a bittersweet morning for all of us. We had such a good summer and my goal of being cohesive was definitely accomplished. I am happy for our normal routine to return though. It is hard going 10 weeks with no real routine for each day!

The girls are getting so big and it is days like these that I wish I could freeze time and cherish these milestones. I can't believe my babies are so big- where has the time gone! I look back and see so many mistakes that I have made. I try not to dwell on these, but if I had a "do over" card I would use it! All I can do is keep pressing forward; learning from my mistakes. Each day is a new one! Can't wait to see what this next school year brings!

Lot's to update!

2011-07-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

Well Summer is in full swing! I have to say that we have had SO MUCH FUN as a family this summer! We have definitely been busy!

Summer started with a two week visit from Aunt Charlotte and all the cousins. We had our church summer camp the first week- lots of fun and exhaustion! The next week was filled with swimming, drive-in movie, Jelly Belly factory tour, Six Flags, and lots of fun playing in the yard. It was sad when they had to leave; our house felt so empty!

The following week, we got our Taiwanese exchange student, Joanna! She is such a joy to have and we are lucky to still have 2 1/2 weeks left with her. We have enjoyed getting to know her and have taken her Monster Mini Golfing. We plan on going to San Fransisco and Lake Tahoe while she is here.

This week has been eventful in of itself. The girls are going to another Church summer camp this week. Unfortunately Tuesday Hannah broke her right elbow at gymnastics. After 2 resets, were are finally able to breathe easy. She is so bummed out!

We only have a month of summer left. It has gone by quickly so far and I hope to continue to savor time with my family!

Creating Cohesiveness

2011-05-10T20:10:00.000-07:00

As the end of the school year is approaching, I am beginning to look at ideas for this summer. I have already planned several things, but there are 10 weeks to fill! I really want to take this time to establish cohesiveness in my family unit. In the craziness of our routine; work, school, extracurricular activities, we have lost the simplicity of just spending time with one another. Quality time. I want to be intentional about regaining this precious gift of time with my husband and daughters. I want to enjoy my family this summer. I don't want to over-schedule our time off, but I do want to create the opportunities to spend quality time together. My hope is that we can find local activities that will pique all of our interests. My mind is swirling with ideas and I can't wait to start brainstorming with Brandon and the girls!

A bit of a better day

2011-05-02T21:23:00.001-07:00

Today was better. Easier. I am sure a lot of this has to do with the fact that the girls had school today. I still missed the mark though. I lost patience. I yelled. I recoiled and reminded myself to value the character of the girls more than the misbehavior. It is so hard to change bad habits. I never thought that I would sit here today and reflect on the fact that I yell at my kids. I vowed growing up that I was going to be different. I would be calm. And yet, here I am. Struggling.

It is amazing how much perspective brings to the table. I appreciate my childhood so much more now that I am a mom. I can understand why things happened; why responses seemed harsh. I am living and breathing the challenge of parenting and I am making many of the same mistakes. One thing is for sure, God has softened my heart and brought me compassion I never dreamed I would have.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am so thankful for fresh beginnings. Maybe, just maybe, I can find a little bit more of the patience and calmness I desire...

Not fun being a mommy!

2011-05-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

Being a mom sucks sometimes. I never know if I am totally screwing up the girls or if they will turn out okay. I hate discipline and second guessing myself. Am I being to harsh? Should I have handled that differently? Do they need less consequences and more love? UGH! I don't know what to do about Claire's back talk and sassy-ness. She is constantly trying to steer the conversation, get the final word in, and cause me to second guess myself. On more than one occasion she has expressed that she feels like I love Hannah more than I love her. I really believe that she believes this and that she isn't just trying to get a reaction out of me. I don't know how to change her view on this, other than to just love on her. However she is definitely the more hard headed out of the two, and she needs more discipline than Hannah. Hannah cracks easier and seems to learn her lessons after a time out. Claire on the other hand just loves to continue to push the envelope and that brings about more discipline. Why couldn't kiddos come with instructions? I really hope that I can show Claire just how much I love her and that she doesn't grow up needing years of therapy!

Catching Up

2010-10-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Wow! October already! I can't believe it is Fall! I love this time of year; it is so busy but also so good! We have a full schedule and life is filled with ups and downs.

Time for updates!

Hannah banana broke her right arm on September 21st. It was so scary for both Brandon and I. We both lost it! She was getting ready to go down the slide and somehow slipped. She rolled down on her arm and it was visibly broken. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it! She was a trooper through the whole event and is now the proud owner of a bright pink cast. It has been challenging with this change though; she can't do gymnastics right now, bathing is a pain, and she has to have help dressing. Oh well, it is short lived. The cast comes off on November 4th.

Being that her right arm is broken, school has been a bit of a challenge too. She is right handed. I am blown away by her perseverance- Hannah has learned to write and color with her LEFT hand! It is sometimes a bit sloppy (or sloppier than her regular writing-Ha!) but it is usually quite impressive! She is doing great in school and adjusting well!

On to my Claire bear! Claire is fantastic! She is doing great academically! I can't believe how smart she is! She loves to learn and is constantly asking questions (which can drive me batty at times). She is continuing Ballet and is doing well. She is so athletic and constantly on the move. At home, she is teaching herself how to do cartwheels and handstands. I hope this doesn't lead to injury! LOL! She is attending a God and Me class to earn a patch for Girl Scouts. This year she is a 2nd year Daisy (it is a 2 year program) in Girl Scouts. She is just so adorable! I am so proud of my girl and how well she is doing in life!

Brandon is busy with work. He recently moved departments and is now the supervisor in the Deli. This change has been filled with it's challenges. His schedule has changed completely, and the responsibilities are so different from his previous position. The change has been good though, and we are hoping that it will prepare him for a promotion in the future.

I am good. Busy as always. I love to volunteer- at church, the girl's school- and it keeps me quite busy. I am also working part time at church and this has been fun and a huge blessing financially! I am so grateful for where I am at right now.

Well that's it for now. I will have to post a funny story about the girl's later! :-)

School Days

2010-08-15T21:12:00.001-07:00

Last week the girls began school. I now am a mom of a Kindergartner and a 1st grader. I can't believe it! The week started off great- lots of excitement from both girls. They were too cute on the first day of school. We took LOTS of pictures and both girls left us smiling and happy. Tuesday and Wednesday held the same eagerness and I was thinking that this was an easy transition. Then came pick up on Wednesday afternoon. They had hit a wall. More accurately Hannah had hit a wall! She was exhausted and grumpy! She begged me to let her stay home on Thursday so that she could have a "day off". I reminded her that her days off were now Saturday and Sunday. Tear flowed. Daddy dropped her off that morning and it was a sad goodbye. School had lost it's charm. Friday brought the same. Now it is Sunday night and tomorrow begins a new week of school. I wonder what kind of week it will be?

Jesus broke bread

2010-07-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Today I told the girls that we would be spending the day cleaning and organizing. They weren't too thrilled with the idea, but obliged and began to clean up the play room. As they were working, I told them that they could make a pile of toys to give away if they wanted to. They liked that idea and I reminded them that it was a kind and caring thing to do. They began to go through the play kitchen food, discussing each item to decide if they should keep it or give it away. A few minutes later, Hannah comes to me with a loaf of plastic bread. She announced, "We are going to keep this bread. I already gave away the cross cookie cutter so other kids will have something about Jesus. Jesus broke bread and this will remind me about Him." Priceless. I loved that moment. It made me realize that they are "getting" the life of Jesus. They are remembering it and processing through what it means. They are understanding that their generosity and loving actions can teach others about the character of Christ. I was humbled and reminded myself that I am the hands and feet of Jesus too.

9 weeks

2010-05-27T18:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the last day of kindergarten for Claire. I can hardly believe how fast this school year has flown by! She is going to be a first grader. That seems so big. And to top it off, Hannah is going to be a kindergartner. Both girls in elementary school. WOW! I am racking my brain trying to figure out how they have grown so quickly. I feel like time is racing by and I need to slow down and savor my kiddos because they are quickly moving into new phases and stages. I remember growing up it seemed as is time stood still. Summer vacations seemed SO long. Christmas took forever to come around. Each birthday felt a million years away. As an adult, this is simply not the case. Time has not only sped up, it seems to be going 3x's as fast as it should. I feel like I barely have time to recover let alone keep up.

Summer break is 9 weeks. Claire is anxious about what those 9 weeks are going to entail; what routine will be kept. I keep reassuring her that we have plenty to do in these 9 short weeks, but she insists that it is a LONG time and we will run out of things to fill our time. It will be interesting to see my perspective at the end of the summer; if the 9 weeks seemed to whiz by or if time slowed down a bit. I am betting on the first; while 9 weeks is a good chunk of time, we have alot planned for our summer. I am buckling in because I am prepared for a busy and crazy ride!

The whirlwind

2010-05-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

One week ago today, I graduated from college. WOW! I am still a bit shocked that this goal is finally completed. I did it! It took longer than I thought; but still, it is done. It was a great day; spent with my close friends and family. I even found myself tearing up when I entered the ceremony and spotted my kids. It was an emotional and fulfilling day.

And then Sunday came. And I felt sick. Like I have never before. I couldn't breathe. I could hardly move. By Sunday evening, I felt like I was being suffocated. I was scared and tired. I went to the doctor first thing Monday morning. It wasn't long before she was telling me to get to the ER. So off we went. To the ER. I never thought I would be admitted to the hospital, but I was. My asthma took a quick turn for the worse and it wasn't changing. I spent 2 nights in the hospital. I was bored out of my mind. I was forced to sit there and do nothing but rest. Funny, God has been nudging me to rest more. I guess I better listen more!

So within a week I went from a major life accomplishment to forced rest. And I am still resting so that I can fully recover. It is interesting how life happens sometimes.

Be anxious for nothing....

2010-05-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am anxious. I have a lot swirling around in my mind and I am anxious. My graduation is coming up this weekend; anxiety. We are tight financially; anxiety. I am looking for a part time job; anxiety. I believe that everything will work out, but I can't shake this feeling. I keep praying to God for relief and I know He is there listening and acting. I want to be free of anxiety, but I know that it keeps me close to God.

I have so much to be thankful for. I am trying to keep my focus on my numerous blessings. God has given me so much; health, a home, an abundance of things, a family, cars, a stable job for my husband etc. I could go on and on. I need to dwell on these good things.

In 18 days...

2010-04-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

I will be a college graduate. I am cautiously excited. I keep waiting for the rug to be ripped out from under me; for someone to say, "Just kidding! You don't get to walk". I don't know why I expect this; I have worked hard and I know that I am done. Well, sort of. I still have 3.5 free elective units to complete over the summer, but all the core work is done. And yet, I am still afraid. I have been in college off and on for the past 11 years. I always knew I would get a degree. I expected to be done before this point in my life, but I have 2 beautiful distractions that detoured my plans. And I am okay with that.

After graduation, I am going to take the summer to enjoy the girls. We have a busy summer planned; camping, visiting old friends, cousins coming to stay with us, ballet recital, Hannah's preschool graduation and Blitz camp at church. I am excited for less stress (ie. Homework) but a bit anxious about not having a structured routine. But my goal is to go with the flow; to enjoy the lazy days of summer.

And in the Fall, I must get a job. My husband works so hard to provide for us. I want to be able to contribute to our family financially so that we have a bit more freedom in our spending. Nothing too crazy; I am hoping to work only part time. I know jobs are hard to come by, so I am planning on beginning the search in July. I am already praying for a perfect job; I believe that there is something out there that will fit beautifully into my schedule.

And the following Fall, I am going to grad school. I love to learn and wish that I could emotionally handle jumping into a grad program right now; but I am burnt out. I know my limit and I have beyond reached it. I know that a grad program is going to be taxing; I need to be emotionally recharged before I walk into an intensive 2-3 year program. And, I need to invest into my family. They have sacrificed countless hours while I worked on homework or pushed to finish a final. They need me. They deserve my attention for a while.

Silly Girls

2010-03-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here listening to my sweet girls laugh and play. It is such a sweet sound. I am so blessed to be able to watch my kiddos grow up; to share their joys, frustrations, and milestones with them. I all too often take this for granted. But really, I am one lucky mama!

I am down to the final few weeks of school. It is both exciting and scary. I am taking a year off; I need it and my family needs it! I hope to use this next year to grow closer to God, my husband, and my girls. I also hope to get to know me better. Lately (like most of my life) I have been so busy that I have forgotten to check in with me. I am determined to change this; to take time and rest and get to know who I really am. It is long overdue!

This next week is Spring Break for the girls. I am excited to spend some time out of routine. I am determined to be less rigid and enjoy our week off together! We are hoping to visit San Fransisco and have some play dates. Later in the week, Grandma and Auntie are coming to visit. It will be nice not to have appointments, school, and busyness predict our days!

Rainy Day and Parenting Woes

2010-03-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

I am sitting and snuggling with the girls and it is raining outside. I love the sound of rain. It has been a challenging afternoon with the girls- lots of bickering and petty arguments. I have done good keeping my cool but I am definitely ready for their bedtime!

I have a speech to give tomorrow night for my Communications class. I am speaking on the topic of parenting. It is funny, I have SO many parenting books! I keep adding to my collection; I guess I am looking for the secret answer to being a good parent! I don't think there is one! However, as I have been preparing for this speech, I have been reading the book, Scream Free Parenting. I LOVE this book! It is so practical and easy to understand. I am going to re-read it this summer (since I will be FREE of homework by then) and try to really glean some useful tools for my parenting tool bag.

One of the little quotes in the book really stood out to me. It says, " Without space to make their own mistakes, our kids live only borrowed lives." Wow! I want so badly to protect my girls from mistakes. But really, they have to experience them to grow. It is so hard to let go and trust God and believe that they will be okay.

The end is near

2010-02-26T21:46:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it, but the end of my schooling is near. Well, at least the bachelor's part. I still want to get my masters. But I digress. The end of this 18 month long journey is almost over. I am in a bit of shock. I keep wondering if I will really graduate in May. In my head, some unforeseen circumstance is going to prevent me from getting my diploma. That would really suck. And after I do graduate in May, then what? I know that I want to pursue my Masters in Social work, but the only school that offers that program is Sac State and it is very competitive to get into. What if I don't get accepted? I am planning on taking some time off this next year, but what if in the fall of 2011 I don't get in? My mind hasn't been my friend lately- I have been filled with doubts. I know that I need to let go and let God. I am trying. I am trusting that His plan will work. Mine might not, but His will.

A New Year

2010-01-04T17:32:00.001-08:00

Wow it has been awhile since I have had time to write! What a rollercoaster the past few months have been; so very busy...

Lets see, some updates....

Claire- my sweet girl is now 6 years old. I can hardly believe it! She is getting too big, too fast. I am a little sad this year as I realize just how fast the past 6 years have gone by and how much of it I "missed". I want to be able to savor my girls more and enjoy them to the fullest! For her birthday, we went to the Railroad Museum in Sacramento. It was so much fun. Both girls had a blast and wanted to walk through the whole museum a second time. After that, we (being Aunt Jeanne, Grandma Debbie, Aunt Barbara, Hannah, Claire, and I) went lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Good food!

Claire is just so full of life. She is very curious and can spend the day asking question after question. While this is quite tiring, I try to remind myself that she is just like a sponge and she wants more and more knowledge!

Hannah- this cutie pie is keeping me on my toes! She is learning that whining and crying will earn her a time out! Hannah is insistent on wearing a dress or a skirt over pants EVERYDAY! We spend alot of time in "negotiations" regarding her outfits. She is very determined to remain a princess. She has specific ideas about accessories and hairdos as well. Hannah is finally enjoying preschool which makes it SO much easier to take her!

Hannah is so compassionate. On Christmas day as I was tucking her into bed, she began to cry because she didn't want Christmas to be over. It wasn't about the gifts; it was about the magic of the season.

The other day the girls were playing in the backyard and I heard the following conversation:

Hannah: Claire, do you have Jesus in your heart?
Claire: Of course I do, Hannah, do you?
Hannah: Yes, sissy. I love Jesus!

This was so sweet and sincere! It made me smile and think that I must be doing something right for them to have random conversations about Jesus!

Okay, back to updates....

Brandon- He is doing good. He is working hard and playing harder. Now that ski season is here, he is quite happy and spends his Wednesdays enjoying the snow! I worry about him every time he goes, but I know that he will be okay. He has been busy at work, which I am so grateful for. No worries of what is going to happen with his job; Costco isn't going anywhere!

Me- I finished a 21 unit semester on December 16th. It was so hard and I wanted to quit many times, but I persevered and got A's and B's in all my classes! In addition to school, I have stayed busy running MOPS and helping coordinate a Christmas event at church. I am looking forward to my last semester, which starts in a few days. I can't wait to be done with this program! I am planning on continuing on to get my masters, but not until I take a break!

We also visited Disneyland in October for a week. It was a great trip and we are already planning this next years trip!

For this new year, I have a few resolutions. Of course the first being loosing weight. I think this is common on most people's list, but I am committed to making changes. So far I am eating smaller meals throughout the day. This is a challenge because I am NOT a morning person and I don't usually eat breakfast. I am also beginning to use my treadmill again and hope to hop on the Wii and use the fit board or the active program.

My second resolution is to savor my time more. I feel that I am so busy all the time that I don't ever get to really enjoy things. I want to slow it down and not rush through life anymore- it goes fast enough on it's own!

That's it for now- time to get the kids in the bath and get dinner cooking!

Too busy to be sick

2009-10-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have been sick all week. I have the flu and it has hit me HARD. I am finally starting to feel better, but still sluggish. I have alot to catch up on with school since I have done nothing all week. I hope that if Brandon and the kids get this, that they get it quick so they aren't sick on our vacation. I also have to start getting serious about our vacation- a whopping 16 days from now. While that might seem like plenty of time, it isn't because we have a very full 2 weeks ahead of us. There is never a dull moment, is there?

Claire is settling into school quite well. She loves it! She has a field trip to Apple Hill on Oct. 9th and she can not wait to ride on the school bus! She has anticipated riding on a school bus for several years. I think that is more exciting to her than the actual field trip. She is also officially a girl scout now! She started with her Daisy troop yesterday. She said she is going to do girl scouts forever, lol! She is a natural at ballet and is getting very good at it. She has the body of a ballerina and is very graceful when she dances.

Hannah is doing good also. She is silly as ever- where does she get it from? She is so goofy! I often find myself laughing and shaking my head at her because she is doing something off the wall. She is enjoying school a bit more but she still doesn't want to go in the mornings! She is really getting good at her handwriting and starting to grasp things much quicker. She too is getting great at ballet- it doesn't come as easy for her but she is putting in the effort and getting better.

Brandon is finally feeling better from his accident. He has been busy with work and counting down the days until ski season! He is so happy that the weather is cooling down.

Well, that is it for now. Happy Fall!

A real Kindergartener and much more....

2009-08-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

Claire had her last day of preschool on Friday. It was bittersweet and I must admit, I teared up. I didn't expect this response, but really I should have. The teachers at Joy Of Children have given me such great support and love over the past 3 years and Claire has thrived there. Claire has mixed emotions about Kindergarten- she is excited because it is "real school", but on the other hand she is scared. Most of her preschool friends will be attending other schools, so Claire will be making lots of new friends. One week from tomorrow, and she will be attending "real school!" I don't think I am ready for this-it feels like she was just a baby. As I think back on these past five years, I am filled with a bit of regret. There are so many things that I would have done differently; so many mistakes that I have made. She is my first born and I am, in a lot of ways, much tougher on her than Hannah. She pushes ever button inside of me and instead of loving her and embracing her special and unique makeup, I get irritated and frustrated. I constantly battle with myself and my parenting abilities. I know that this is and always will be an area of growth....

On to other things- Brandon started back to work a few days ago. It has been an adjustment for all of us. He is dealing with it fairly well, and he is not in too much pain. I on the other hand, realize how grateful I am to have him as my husband. He does SO much around the house and with the kids. I miss his help! And his companionship- it is lonely in the evenings again! Back to routine....

Speaking of routine, mine has changed as I was laid off this week. This is both good and bad. Bad because we need the extra money and I need the time away from the house. But really, it is good. I am going to be so busy this fall with school (taking 21 units in the fall! Yikes!) and with MOPs ( coordinating it for the first time) and with our vacation (Disney for a week! I can't wait) and with Claire being in Kindergarten (homework, adjusting her schedule, etc) and with Hannah in preschool 3 days a week. My plate is full and not working will remove ALOT of stress and provide me with time to do homework and be with the girls. I will have from 10-2 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to myself because both kiddos will be at school. I hope to be disciplined enough to accomplish alot during that time!

Hannah is not too thrilled about attending school 3 days verses 2. She has been a preschooler for a year now and she still doesn't really like it. It is hard and structured and all she wants to do is play. She doesn't like handwriting because it takes too long. School doesn't come easy to her and I worry about this for her future. She is quick to want to give up because she becomes bored or frustrated. I need to work with her about finishing what we start. She would much rather play dress up or with her dollys than do any kind of work!

Well, enough updates for now. I have reading to do and the treadmill is starring me down!

Catching up....

2009-07-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

This has been a busy summer and we haven't even gone on a vacation! On June 16th Brandon was in a mountain biking accident and stayed 2 nights in the Trauma ICU. That was a BIG scare for me and he is now home and doing okay. He will be going back to work at the end of this month. It has been difficult for all of us having him home. It is never easy to change routine. He is bored out of his mind and ready to return to normal living.

On June 19th, Claire graduated from preschool. She was absolutely adorable and I am still in shock that I have a kindergartner. It seems like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with her. I can not believe how big she is and how beautiful she is. I am so blessed to have her and I am learning to be a better parent to her. She is still attending Joy of Children Preschool through the end of July and will officially start Kindergarten on August 10th! Less than a month away! Yikes! I am excited for her and she can not wait to begin school at Russell Ranch Elementary. I am a little worried about her adjusting, but I know that she will be okay.

Hannah is blossoming. She still likes to be the baby, but she is getting more of her own voice. She will start attending preschool 3 days a week to prep her for Kindergarten. She is looking forward to being a leader this year at preschool and is excited for some of her friends to join her this next year. I am amazed at her wittiness- she is always saying something to make me laugh!

I am busy as always but trying to find balance in life. I know that this time next year I will be done with my bachelors and I will be able to relax a bit! I can not wait to finish up school next May. It is not too far away!

Life is good and God is good!

One step at a time

2009-06-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am in a season of change. There are alot of things about myself that I am not happy with. I know I can do some much more, be so much better. So I am taking one step at a time towards becoming a better me. I have been exercising about 5 days a week. This has been REALLY hard because I can find a million in one excuses as to why I should just relax. But I have been pushing myself to get up and go! Brandon bought me a treadmill so I have been able to workout and watch tv. Love it! I also got the Wii Active recently and boy is it a challenge! I love it and hate it all at once! I am really feeling my body respond though- I am capable of pushing on and becoming a stronger and healthier me!

I have also been going to counseling with Brandon. We don't have any major problems, but I know that we can be a stronger couple and better parents. We have been challenged to rethink the way we communicate and respond to one another. It has been good for us and while it is hard, the rewards are paying off!

I have been trying to be aware of the way I treat the girls. I have high expectations and put too much pressure on them. They are growing so fast and I want to nurture them during this time, not put a damper on them. I can be very harsh with them and I am focusing on remaining more in control of my responses and tones I use with them. I have a lot of work to do in this area, but I know that I can do it- one step at a time!

It has been too long

2009-02-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

I have been busy this past month and can hardly believe that February is coming to an end. The months have been flying by! Life is good- nothing too new. I think I will do a brief update on each of us:

Brandon-
He is enjoying skiing each week and is so happy for the fresh powder. Sierra got 5 feet in a week! Work is good, nothing really new with him.

Claire-
My precious little bear bear! She is doing great! She has been listening better and the sassyness is toned down a bit. I can not believe that my baby is 5! She is doing great in preschool and will be more than ready for Kindergarten in the fall.

Hannah-
Little banana! She is good too. She is loving being 4 and is feeling very big! We are working on her whining- man is that annoying! She is wanting some independence from Claire which is good. She is doing good in preschool- working hard and learning alot. She is quite the little artist as well!

Me-
I am now working part time THANK GOD! I had way too much on my plate and was stretched way to thin. I am trying to spend more time with the girls- it does not come naturally for me to play. I am also trying really really hard to stop yelling. I am addicted to it. This is my biggest fault as a mom and I want to do better! School is good, just busy as usual!

Check ups and what nots

2009-01-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

The girls had their yearly check ups this past week. It went good until they had to receive the flu shot. You would have thought they were being murdered with all the crying and screaming they did! Hannah weighs in at 30 lbs and is 38 3/4 inches tall! She is on the low end for her weight, but nothing to be concerned about. Claire is 35 lbs and 43 inches tall. Again, a little low on the weight but healthy.

Brandon's birthday is on Tuesday. He is going to go skiing on Thursday with a group of friends to celebrate. Tuesday is also the day I have to pick up the registration packet for Claire to go to kindergarten. I still can't believe that we are at this stage..... it has gone so fast!

The girls' party is this weekend. My mom comes up on Wednesday, which will be a great help. I have a lot of cleaning and organizing to do around here to get things ready. Of course I still have homework and work that needs to be accomplished as well. Always a list of things to do, and not enough time.

Officially a Kid

2009-01-06T21:44:00.000-08:00

I am officially a mother of a kid. Not a newborn, not a baby, not a toddler. A kid. Claire is 5 now. I can not believe it. She has gotten so big and it has gone so fast. I look at her and wonder what happened, how did she get to be so big! I feel like I have failed her in so many ways and I want to be a better mom. I want to look back on my parenting and feel that I have accomplished something and not hindered my daughters. I have really struggled with this and want to be so much more for my girls. So pray for me. That I can change and that I make an effort. I know what needs to be done, or rather, what I need to stop doing. It is just enforcing it.

And then it was over

2008-12-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

I can not believe that Christmas has already come and gone. Wow! That was a whirlwind of a holiday! I have been so busy these past 6 weeks I have barely had time to blink! Christmas day was great, the girls were adorable and I really enjoyed watching them open their gifts. We had a relaxing day and everyone got along great. I had to work on Christmas eve and the day after Christmas, which was a drag. The office was SO slow and I was bummed that I had to be away from the girls. Oh well. It is a necessary evil. I have been feeling very angry lately and I think it is because I am disconnected emotionally. I don't have time to connect with my family and friends and when I do, I am exhausted and in a hurry. I am hoping to be able to slow down a bit soon. We are trying to work out a way to pay for preschool with me working part time. Full time is too much on me and my family.

We are going to take the girls sledding on New Years day. They have never really been in the snow, so we will see how much they like it. I think that Claire will love it and Hannah will whine, but who knows what will happen. Jeanne and Barbara are going to come with me. Brandon is going to go skiing since we bought him a season pass for his birthday. He is soooo happy to have a pass as he thought he wasn't going to get one. I just hope he stays safe!

I am anticipating the New Year and am determined to loose weight and be more emotionally health. I want to be a good wife and mom and person, and right now I feel like I am just going through the motions.

Family Update

2008-12-20T21:05:00.000-08:00

I spent the afternoon wrapping. Our tree is bursting with gifts- we are truly blessed. I am getting more and more excited for Christmas to come- not for me, but for the girls! I love seeing their eyes light up on Christmas morning as they come out to see what Santa has left. They are too cute!

Hannah has been sick the last few days. It is a bummer, but I am glad that she is sick now and not on Christmas. I think she is on the tail end of it, her fever has been gone for almost 24 hours. Claire has been very sweet to her- giving her lots of kisses and loves. We have spent most of our time snuggling on the couch watching Christmas specials off of the DVR. It is nice to not have an agenda and just spend time with my kiddos. I miss them and love it when we cuddle.

Brandon has been busy with work. He seems a bit distant lately and I know that he is stressed. It has been a big change for him too and he is struggling with a loss of personal time. He is used to having his "days off" and with me back at work those aren't happening. Sure he isn't going into work, but he is at home with the girls now. I used to get so frustrated because he would think that I had days off everyday because I was at home. I think he is starting to realize what a false perception this is. I hope that he gets used to it and makes the best of it. It is just a season and this too shall pass.

10 day countdown

2008-12-15T20:14:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe that Christmas is almost here. Where has the time gone? I am done with all the gift shopping, now just to find the time to wrap. I am loving the cold weather (even though it is really really cold) because it makes me just want to snuggle under a blankie! The house is nice and festive and all the lights outside are a joy to look at.

I am feeling a bit more settled with work, the girls are still having some issues though. I really hope that they will settle as soon as the holiday madness is over. I am trying to maximize all the time I have with them as it is a lot less than it used to be.

What am I doing?

2008-12-04T20:50:00.001-08:00

I am barely surviving working, kids, school, marriage, church etc. Did I bite off more than I can chew? Will it get easier? Will my kids ever really adjust? I am really second guessing myself here but feel stuck. Without work, there is no preschool. What do I do? HELP!

A full week

2008-11-23T10:02:00.000-08:00

What a week. It was my first week of full time and it was busy to say the least. By Friday I was exhausted! Working is a huge blessing as we were in dire circumstances financially. I am so grateful to be able to provide for some of our family's needs. It is just going to take time to get used to. I am seeing how my girls are affected, Claire really is missing me. I feel guilty but in my core know I am doing the right thing. Brandon is able to spend a whole lot more time with them and I think that their relationship is going to flourish. I am learning to squeeze out as much time as I can with them. We have had lots of cuddle time in the evenings and I love it! This next week they will only go to daycare on Monday because Brandon has Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off and I have Thursday and Friday off. We are going to go up to CEM in Grass Valley for Thanksgiving. On Friday we are going to decorate for Christmas and on Saturday we are going to go see Annie the Musical. Lots of change and lots of good things, just takes time to adjust.

Changes

2008-11-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

So today was my first full day at work. The girls went to daycare for 4 hours. I was so anxious about this, but they did really well. They are going to a gal from our church and I feel really comfortable about the arrangement. Claire is not thrilled with going, but says she had a good time. So far Brandon's schedule has worked in our favor. I am praying that he can get it permanently changed to work from 130-10pm on Mon, Tue, and Fri so that the girls are with him in the mornings. He is off on Wed and Thurs already. This will allow them to only have minor changes in their routine. I am fortunate enough to be close enough to still do preschool pick up and Brandon does morning drop off. I feel so blessed that God has provided all these open doors and I am faithfully relying on Him to continue to carry us through.

Brandon returned from Mexico and I was SO EXCITED to have him home! It was a challenging 5 days. He had a wonderful trip and God really softened his heart and gave him a greater appreciation for what he has. He wants to go to Brazil in the summer so we are prayerfully considering this. I am not sure how it will work out financially, but then again God has often left me in suspense in this area only to come through in ways I could not even imagine! I am sure that He can and will do it again if He wants Brandon in Brazil!

Busy

2008-11-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

My life has drastically changed as I have gotten a job (finally! Thank you God). While this is a good change, it is still a change which is hard. I happened to get my new job the same week Brandon was due to leave for Mexico on a mission trip. I have scrambled around all week arranging childcare and it has all worked out. A bit stressful, but nonetheless it worked. I start full time next week and have found a great daycare provider for the girls. My prayer right now is that Brandon can get his schedule permanently changed to a closing shift. This will allow him to be home until 1pm and will not only cut down on childcare expenses, but also allow the girls to be home more. All I can do is wait and pray and see what happens. I have faith that it will work out.

So, Brandon left for Mexico yesterday morning at 6am. The girls were really sad that he was going, but they are doing okay. It has been a long couple of days but we are surviving. Yesterday afternoon we were driving in the car and playing "I Spy" when all of the sudden Hannah said, "wait! I need to pray for daddy!" She then said a prayer for him to be safe in Mexico and build lots of houses for people who need them. It was a very sincere and sweet prayer. Claire prayed after her, then I. I love that my kids are thinking to pray without my prompting. It makes me feel like I am doing something right in my parenting!

The weekend is almost here and I am glad! Brandon will return Sunday night and I am looking forward to seeing him! I am also looking forward to spending time with my girls as it has been hard being away from the during the day.

Job Interview

2008-10-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

I had a job interview today. It went really good. I am fairly confident that I will be offered the position. The pay is decent and the job is good- but it is in Natomas. 30 miles away from home. Do I really want to be that far away from the girls? I don't know what to do. I really really need to get a job, but is this the one? It is the only bite I have had. I am at a loss. Lots of prayer on this one.

The terrible three's

2008-10-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

Hannah is very three today. She got removed from the circle time at preschool today for not respecting her teacher. She has been bratty and tantrum-y all afternoon! I am so ready for this phase to pass! I hope we both survive!

The whirlwind has slowed

2008-10-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

I am finally able to catch my breath after our trip! We had a wonderful time away, but were all anxious to get back home and return to "normal" life. I had a LOT of homework to do, unpacking, laundry etc. and it is all finally done.

The girls had a blast in Disneyland! They were amazed and exhausted by the end of our three days there. It was extremely hot- record high heat of 102, 103 with humidity. That was a huge battle for me as I HATE to be that hot! But regardless, I enjoyed our time and would LOVE to go back soon.

It was also good to see family that we don't get to visit very often. Brandon's grandpa turned 95 and we were able to attend a big family dinner to celebrate. The girls got to meet some of their cousins and had a good time! I hope that we can see them again soon!

As much as we had fun, it was hard on the girls to be away for so long. They are used to their routine and enjoy being home.

We are home

2008-10-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Our vacation was fabulous and very BUSY. We all had a great time away, but are happy to be home. I will update more in a bit- I have lots of homework and unpacking to do!

The Cold

2008-09-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

I have a cold. I have mixed feelings about this. In one hand it is good that I have it now instead of on our trip, which is in 4 days. On the other hand, I have so much to do to prepare for our trip and having a cold is the last thing I want to deal with! This week is already SOOO busy and I really don't want to feel stressed out!

One week

2008-09-19T18:37:00.001-07:00

That is it.... 7 more days! And they are going to be BUSY ones! Pray for me.

The final few

2008-09-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

We are down to 9 days until our vacation. I can't believe it! I have so much packing /organizing to do and this is going to be the busiest week possible! Brandon will work every day until our vacation, I have MOPs, bible studies, school, a babysitting commitment, a few appointments, and family coming from out of town. I can not believe all that is going on in the next 8 days! WOW! God please give me grace, patience, and endurance during this busy time!

We all are doing well- Hannah and I have been fighting a cold. Better now than on our vacation!

Laughter

2008-09-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

I love to hear my daughter's laugh. It brings me such joy to hear them giggling, without a care in the world. I am sitting here with Hannah and while she is overly tired from being up too late last night, she is laughing. Maybe she is slap happy, but I like to think that she is thoroughly enjoying my company. I do not have to do much to evoke a smile- a silly look, a tickle, or just pretending to be asleep. It is so much easier to be happy but I often find that I chose not to be. I am quick to be overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life. I need to remember to smile and enjoy the small things that make life wonderful!

We are in the teens!

2008-09-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

19 more days to our trip! Can you tell we are excited?

On another note, today was a long day. Claire is going through a major attitude phase. IT is sooo hard to deal with ALL DAY LONG! Thank goodness that tomorrow is a school day for her. I need a break.

The girls and I went to church today and hung out at home. We went to Jeanne's this afternoon and then to a end of summer pool party. The girls had a blast. It was a nice mini break. The only downside is that we didn't get home until 8 pm and they didn't fall asleep until 9:15pm. I hope that the grumps don't come out tomorrow.

Exam

2008-09-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

I have applied for a county job and got to step 2- the written exam. I go on Tuesday. I have been taking practice exams from a book I got at the library. I am SO glad that I did this! I would have not been prepared at all! These test are HARD. Things I thought I was good at- I am not! I really hope that I score well enough to make it to step 3- the oral interview. We are in desperate need for another income and working for the county would be icing on the cake! So, wish me luck!

3 weeks to go!

2008-09-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

Only 3 more weeks until our vacation! We are so excited! I can hardly wait to have a break from life. I hope that we can enjoy some relaxation and not rush through our days.

On another note, I have applied for a county job and I have a written exam on Tuesday. I really hope that I do well and am able to get a position. We are barely scraping by and I need to find work SOON!

The girls have been very testy lately. I feel like I am living with teenagers- boy do they have some attitude! I hope that this phase is short lived!

Holiday

2008-09-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

So today is Labor Day which means we are all home. This can be good or it can be bad. I think everyone had good sleep last night- a key factor in how our day will turn out. Claire has already had a time out but she is on the right track now. I think grumpy daddy was a little too harsh on her. We have no plans today. I think we will probably go on a walk and just hang out.

Later this afternoon I am going to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 with Jeanne. I watched the first one last night to refresh my memory. What a great movie!

On Saturday, Brandon and I went and saw Mamma Mia! It was fantastic. Brandon loved it despite his initial hesitation. It was very well done and FUNNY!

Today marks the start of a new month, September. It is the month of our vacation. We are down to 25 days and I can not believe it! I need to start making a packing list so I am organized and not overwhelmed!

HOT!

2008-08-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today was HOT! I mean, really HOT!! The girls were invited to a pool party and let me tell you, I thought I was going to melt while I was there! 105 was the high today-not so fun! I wish that I was thinner because I was dying to go in the water. Lets just say that I was a bit irritable by the end of the party. Thank goodness bedtime was right around the corner!

I am working on homework tonight. Brandon is working late and I am reading. I had my first class last night and I really enjoyed it. I was exhausted by the time I got home; it is a lot of information in a four hour period!

We are down to 27 more days until our long anticipated vacation. I can not wait to get away and enjoy time with my family. I am so excited to share Disneyland with Claire and Hannah. They are going to LOVE it!

Feeling anxious

2008-08-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

I am feeling anxious today. About finances. I need to let it go- God is in control. I know that His will is perfect and that He will not abandon us. We are blessed beyond our means and all of our needs are presently met. Let it go Katie, Let it go!

Exercise

2008-08-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

I just went on a jog/walk for 20 mins. Man am I out of shape! I am going to start following the couch to 5k program. Today was week 1/day1. I really need to get in shape before I really get out of control. I weigh more than I ever have (even pregnant) and I am absolutely disgusted with it! I pray that I will have the stamina and stubbornness needed to kick my butt into gear. I am off to the shower now, as I am dripping in sweat!

A new journey....

2008-08-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

I am about to go to my orientation for school. I am entering a degree completion program and Lord willing will have my bachelors in psychology in 19 short months. I am slightly nervous that something is going to happen and I will have to quit school (again).

I have been stressing about money today. I keep surrendering my anxieties to God, just to turn around and pick them back up! Ugggh! Why can't I just let go!!! God knows our circumstances- why am I doubting Him?

40 days and counting

2008-08-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

...until our fabulous vacation! We are so excited! The girls ask every day about it and what we are going to do! It is going to be so good to connect with our families and have fun!

Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary! Boy has time flown by! Brandon had to work, so the girls and I hung out- we went to the park and church. Brandon brought home dinner and we all sat down together and ate. After dinner we went on a nice walk. It was a beautiful evening out and it was nice to get moving!

Worship

2008-08-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Today was just another day in the neighborhood. Nothing too exciting. Claire and I watched a friends toddler and then ran some errands. Once we got Hannah from school, we decided that we all needed a nice refreshing Jamba Juice! It was yummy. The girls played babies and school while I made dinner. They also played church. Apparently Claire was the Worship leader. She had her drum and Hannah was on the harmonica. They were singing made up songs about God and Jesus. It was so precious. I thank God that their hearts desire is to worship the Lord! It was a blessing to my soul to hear them!

The Dreaded Drive

2008-08-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hannah hates going to school. Once she is there, she has a blast. But, the drive there is grueling. It feels like the march to death row! She cries and begs and pleads to stay home. I hate it! I am always so tempted to turn the car around and rescue her from her misery. But, I know that this in not in her best interest. Preschool is good for her. It is where she needs to be. I know that when I go and pick her up, she will have a smile on her face. She will have had a good day.

Productive

2008-08-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today was a productive day! I am finally feeling better! So is Hannah! Thank goodness. Brandon was off today so he played with Hannah this morning (Claire was at school) while I went down to a temp agency. I was not feeling motivated to go, but I knew that I needed to. I met with a lady there and she emailed me several skills test assessments that I am working on. I really hope that I get a job soon! I am continuing to trust that God is going to work this all out- He has a plan and I am committed to following Him.

This afternoon we headed down to the bike shop to look at road bikes. Brandon wants one soooo bad- I hope we can make it happen for him! Then we went and picked up Claire from school and the kids ran in the sprinklers out back for a while. They had a lot of fun.

I had a MOPs planning meeting tonight. It went well. We are making quite a bit of progress. Brandon had bible study, so the girls went to Jeanne's and watched Enchanted.

Tomorrow is a new day. I have quite a long to do list and I am happy for that. It is nice to be productive.

Its been a LOOOONG day!

2008-08-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hannah is still sick (read- very fussy) and Claire is bored (read- looking for trouble). I am still not feeling up to par- I just want to sleep! I feel that I am hanging by my last possible thread! Thank goodness Brandon is off for the next two days- I need some help!

Soooo tired!

2008-08-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is up with me, but I am exhausted! I can't seem to get enough sleep! I wonder if I am coming down with something- I sure hope not!

The girls are driving me batty with a gazillion questions about Disneyland! They are so excited and want to know everything about it! Only 54 more days....

Brandon is working late tonight- I hate these nights! The girls and I are watching Farm Kids in my bed- SOOO exciting!

God is always at work around you

2008-08-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

This is the first of seven realities in the Experiencing God study I am doing. God is working around me. He has a plan. Even though I don't understand it right now, doesn't mean that He is not at work. He calls us to follow Him- even when we don't know where exactly we are going. I am trying so hard to cling to this truth and remain in peace about this transitional time in our lives (yet again!). I know that He will continue to provide and His will will be done!

Praise the Lord for having a plan because I sure don't have one!

Sweaty!

2008-08-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

It is HOT today! I am sweaty and irritable. I have been cleaning all day and I am ready for bedtime to be here! Soon....

On another note, we went to Concert in the Park last night and had a BLAST! We saw friends, the kids danced and ran around, and we just had plain ole fun! Next week is the last one and that is a bummer!

Hannah is sick. She has a headache and keeps getting hot then cold. I gave her some advil and she seems better for the moment- poor baby!

The Zoo

2008-07-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

Today Brandon I and spent time with Claire. It was so nice to have some one on one time with her. She craves the attention and needs the reassurance that we love and value her. First we took her to the Folsom City Zoo. We had fun walking around and looking at all the animals. We were all ready for lunch after that, so we went and got sub sandwiches and brought them to the park. I forgot how irritating it can be to eat outside. Flies and yellow jackets everywhere! Brandon was so sweet and keep them away while Claire and I ate. After eating and playing at the park, we rode the little steam train and then ended our time by going to the library. It was a full day and I am so thankful for it!

My precious girls

2008-07-30T09:08:00.001-07:00

My babies are getting so big. I thought I would post their 4th of July picture. I am amazed by them and can not believe that they are already 3 and 4!

Experiencing God

2008-07-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have started the Experiencing God workbook, and let me tell you, God is at work. The day after I began this study, became a day of trial for me. In the study, the author discusses how God tells us to follow Him- without knowing all the details. In Matthew, Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, focus on today. Well, I am putting this into practice. I am trusting in Jesus and His will for me. I KNOW that He will be there with me and that God is at work all around me. It is a freeing experience, even in the midst of difficulties.

Agony Ride

2008-07-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend Brandon and I had the opportunity to work at the Agony ride for Christian Encounter Ministries. The agony is their yearly fund raiser- people ride their bikes for 24 hours. I have worked at 6 other agonies and each year I am humbled and amazed and proud. I leave feeling rejuvenated and appreciative of the sacrifice that others are willing to make. The riders come in to the SAG (Stop and Go) stations and they are tired and achy, but they press on. The keep riding. When the sun goes down and it is FREEZING cold overnight, they keep riding. When it is windy and hot, they keep riding. I watch them and feel so proud of them. I am so thankful for them, they are truly God's people. This year over $113k was raised. There was also a new record set- 374 miles! Wow!

Paper Chain Countdown

2008-07-17T16:10:00.001-07:00

So we are leaving for vacation in 70 days! I made a paper chain to countdown our time. Claire is constantly asking, "How many days until vacation?" So now she doesn't have to wonder! Let the countdown begin!

Vacation Confirmed

2008-07-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

Brandon was able to confirm his vacation time! We are headed to So. Cal on September 26 and will return on October 8. We are going to Palm Springs, Disneyland, and the beach! I can not wait! I am so excited to get away and have some fun with my family. I have a lot of work to do (on myself) before then!

A change in perspective

2008-07-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

I have been very bitter and angry lately. I have been short of patience- especially with my kids. I realize that I need to change my perspective on life. I have an expectation that my kids will do exactly what I want them too- we all know that is unrealistic. I need to allow them room to be kids; to take an extra minute to get their shoes on, to wander and enjoy the things around them. I am always in a rush- there really is no need for that! Before I know it they will be grown and I will miss these days. I don't want to look back on my parenting and be full of regrets. So, I am going to try to slow down just a bit and enjoy life.

Cheer for Jesus

2008-07-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

I went to church tonight and it was so refreshing. The sermon was on the Day of Atonement. We are studying the book of Leviticus this summer, and I am learning a lot! We learned about the old Testament practice of having a scapegoat take away their sins. We then remembered that Jesus became our scapegoat and took away our sins once and for all. Now that is something to celebrate!

Changes

2008-07-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hannah starts preschool next week. That means both kids will be in preschool! EEKS- we are going to barely be scraping by. I know that God will provide- we just need to trust in Him. I am anxious about money and worried that something will not work out. We have cut our costs to the BARE minimum already. I am scared. I need to rest in the Lord and worry just about today. I struggle with this in EVERY area of my life. Trust is so hard.

Greetings

2008-04-20T18:38:00.001-07:00

Hello! This is my first post. I will be back later to update!