Tuesday, April 27, 2010

In 18 days...

I will be a college graduate. I am cautiously excited. I keep waiting for the rug to be ripped out from under me; for someone to say, "Just kidding! You don't get to walk". I don't know why I expect this; I have worked hard and I know that I am done. Well, sort of. I still have 3.5 free elective units to complete over the summer, but all the core work is done. And yet, I am still afraid. I have been in college off and on for the past 11 years. I always knew I would get a degree. I expected to be done before this point in my life, but I have 2 beautiful distractions that detoured my plans. And I am okay with that.

After graduation, I am going to take the summer to enjoy the girls. We have a busy summer planned; camping, visiting old friends, cousins coming to stay with us, ballet recital, Hannah's preschool graduation and Blitz camp at church. I am excited for less stress (ie. Homework) but a bit anxious about not having a structured routine. But my goal is to go with the flow; to enjoy the lazy days of summer.

And in the Fall, I must get a job. My husband works so hard to provide for us. I want to be able to contribute to our family financially so that we have a bit more freedom in our spending. Nothing too crazy; I am hoping to work only part time. I know jobs are hard to come by, so I am planning on beginning the search in July. I am already praying for a perfect job; I believe that there is something out there that will fit beautifully into my schedule.

And the following Fall, I am going to grad school. I love to learn and wish that I could emotionally handle jumping into a grad program right now; but I am burnt out. I know my limit and I have beyond reached it. I know that a grad program is going to be taxing; I need to be emotionally recharged before I walk into an intensive 2-3 year program. And, I need to invest into my family. They have sacrificed countless hours while I worked on homework or pushed to finish a final. They need me. They deserve my attention for a while.