And then it was over

I can not believe that Christmas has already come and gone. Wow! That was a whirlwind of a holiday! I have been so busy these past 6 weeks I have barely had time to blink! Christmas day was great, the girls were adorable and I really enjoyed watching them open their gifts. We had a relaxing day and everyone got along great. I had to work on Christmas eve and the day after Christmas, which was a drag. The office was SO slow and I was bummed that I had to be away from the girls. Oh well. It is a necessary evil. I have been feeling very angry lately and I think it is because I am disconnected emotionally. I don't have time to connect with my family and friends and when I do, I am exhausted and in a hurry. I am hoping to be able to slow down a bit soon. We are trying to work out a way to pay for preschool with me working part time. Full time is too much on me and my family.

We are going to take the girls sledding on New Years day. They have never really been in the snow, so we will see how much they like it. I think that Claire will love it and Hannah will whine, but who knows what will happen. Jeanne and Barbara are going to come with me. Brandon is going to go skiing since we bought him a season pass for his birthday. He is soooo happy to have a pass as he thought he wasn't going to get one. I just hope he stays safe!

I am anticipating the New Year and am determined to loose weight and be more emotionally health. I want to be a good wife and mom and person, and right now I feel like I am just going through the motions.

Family Update

I spent the afternoon wrapping. Our tree is bursting with gifts- we are truly blessed. I am getting more and more excited for Christmas to come- not for me, but for the girls! I love seeing their eyes light up on Christmas morning as they come out to see what Santa has left. They are too cute!

Hannah has been sick the last few days. It is a bummer, but I am glad that she is sick now and not on Christmas. I think she is on the tail end of it, her fever has been gone for almost 24 hours. Claire has been very sweet to her- giving her lots of kisses and loves. We have spent most of our time snuggling on the couch watching Christmas specials off of the DVR. It is nice to not have an agenda and just spend time with my kiddos. I miss them and love it when we cuddle.

Brandon has been busy with work. He seems a bit distant lately and I know that he is stressed. It has been a big change for him too and he is struggling with a loss of personal time. He is used to having his "days off" and with me back at work those aren't happening. Sure he isn't going into work, but he is at home with the girls now. I used to get so frustrated because he would think that I had days off everyday because I was at home. I think he is starting to realize what a false perception this is. I hope that he gets used to it and makes the best of it. It is just a season and this too shall pass.

10 day countdown

I can hardly believe that Christmas is almost here. Where has the time gone? I am done with all the gift shopping, now just to find the time to wrap. I am loving the cold weather (even though it is really really cold) because it makes me just want to snuggle under a blankie! The house is nice and festive and all the lights outside are a joy to look at.

I am feeling a bit more settled with work, the girls are still having some issues though. I really hope that they will settle as soon as the holiday madness is over. I am trying to maximize all the time I have with them as it is a lot less than it used to be.

What am I doing?

I am barely surviving working, kids, school, marriage, church etc. Did I bite off more than I can chew? Will it get easier? Will my kids ever really adjust? I am really second guessing myself here but feel stuck. Without work, there is no preschool. What do I do? HELP!

A full week

What a week. It was my first week of full time and it was busy to say the least. By Friday I was exhausted! Working is a huge blessing as we were in dire circumstances financially. I am so grateful to be able to provide for some of our family's needs. It is just going to take time to get used to. I am seeing how my girls are affected, Claire really is missing me. I feel guilty but in my core know I am doing the right thing. Brandon is able to spend a whole lot more time with them and I think that their relationship is going to flourish. I am learning to squeeze out as much time as I can with them. We have had lots of cuddle time in the evenings and I love it! This next week they will only go to daycare on Monday because Brandon has Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off and I have Thursday and Friday off. We are going to go up to CEM in Grass Valley for Thanksgiving. On Friday we are going to decorate for Christmas and on Saturday we are going to go see Annie the Musical. Lots of change and lots of good things, just takes time to adjust.

Changes

So today was my first full day at work. The girls went to daycare for 4 hours. I was so anxious about this, but they did really well. They are going to a gal from our church and I feel really comfortable about the arrangement. Claire is not thrilled with going, but says she had a good time. So far Brandon's schedule has worked in our favor. I am praying that he can get it permanently changed to work from 130-10pm on Mon, Tue, and Fri so that the girls are with him in the mornings. He is off on Wed and Thurs already. This will allow them to only have minor changes in their routine. I am fortunate enough to be close enough to still do preschool pick up and Brandon does morning drop off. I feel so blessed that God has provided all these open doors and I am faithfully relying on Him to continue to carry us through.

Brandon returned from Mexico and I was SO EXCITED to have him home! It was a challenging 5 days. He had a wonderful trip and God really softened his heart and gave him a greater appreciation for what he has. He wants to go to Brazil in the summer so we are prayerfully considering this. I am not sure how it will work out financially, but then again God has often left me in suspense in this area only to come through in ways I could not even imagine! I am sure that He can and will do it again if He wants Brandon in Brazil!

Busy

My life has drastically changed as I have gotten a job (finally! Thank you God). While this is a good change, it is still a change which is hard. I happened to get my new job the same week Brandon was due to leave for Mexico on a mission trip. I have scrambled around all week arranging childcare and it has all worked out. A bit stressful, but nonetheless it worked. I start full time next week and have found a great daycare provider for the girls. My prayer right now is that Brandon can get his schedule permanently changed to a closing shift. This will allow him to be home until 1pm and will not only cut down on childcare expenses, but also allow the girls to be home more. All I can do is wait and pray and see what happens. I have faith that it will work out.

So, Brandon left for Mexico yesterday morning at 6am. The girls were really sad that he was going, but they are doing okay. It has been a long couple of days but we are surviving. Yesterday afternoon we were driving in the car and playing "I Spy" when all of the sudden Hannah said, "wait! I need to pray for daddy!" She then said a prayer for him to be safe in Mexico and build lots of houses for people who need them. It was a very sincere and sweet prayer. Claire prayed after her, then I. I love that my kids are thinking to pray without my prompting. It makes me feel like I am doing something right in my parenting!

The weekend is almost here and I am glad! Brandon will return Sunday night and I am looking forward to seeing him! I am also looking forward to spending time with my girls as it has been hard being away from the during the day.

Job Interview

I had a job interview today. It went really good. I am fairly confident that I will be offered the position. The pay is decent and the job is good- but it is in Natomas. 30 miles away from home. Do I really want to be that far away from the girls? I don't know what to do. I really really need to get a job, but is this the one? It is the only bite I have had. I am at a loss. Lots of prayer on this one.

The terrible three's

Hannah is very three today. She got removed from the circle time at preschool today for not respecting her teacher. She has been bratty and tantrum-y all afternoon! I am so ready for this phase to pass! I hope we both survive!

The whirlwind has slowed

I am finally able to catch my breath after our trip! We had a wonderful time away, but were all anxious to get back home and return to "normal" life. I had a LOT of homework to do, unpacking, laundry etc. and it is all finally done.

The girls had a blast in Disneyland! They were amazed and exhausted by the end of our three days there. It was extremely hot- record high heat of 102, 103 with humidity. That was a huge battle for me as I HATE to be that hot! But regardless, I enjoyed our time and would LOVE to go back soon.

It was also good to see family that we don't get to visit very often. Brandon's grandpa turned 95 and we were able to attend a big family dinner to celebrate. The girls got to meet some of their cousins and had a good time! I hope that we can see them again soon!

As much as we had fun, it was hard on the girls to be away for so long. They are used to their routine and enjoy being home.

We are home

Our vacation was fabulous and very BUSY. We all had a great time away, but are happy to be home. I will update more in a bit- I have lots of homework and unpacking to do!

The Cold

I have a cold. I have mixed feelings about this. In one hand it is good that I have it now instead of on our trip, which is in 4 days. On the other hand, I have so much to do to prepare for our trip and having a cold is the last thing I want to deal with! This week is already SOOO busy and I really don't want to feel stressed out!

One week

That is it.... 7 more days! And they are going to be BUSY ones! Pray for me.

The final few

We are down to 9 days until our vacation. I can't believe it! I have so much packing /organizing to do and this is going to be the busiest week possible! Brandon will work every day until our vacation, I have MOPs, bible studies, school, a babysitting commitment, a few appointments, and family coming from out of town. I can not believe all that is going on in the next 8 days! WOW! God please give me grace, patience, and endurance during this busy time!

We all are doing well- Hannah and I have been fighting a cold. Better now than on our vacation!

Laughter

I love to hear my daughter's laugh. It brings me such joy to hear them giggling, without a care in the world. I am sitting here with Hannah and while she is overly tired from being up too late last night, she is laughing. Maybe she is slap happy, but I like to think that she is thoroughly enjoying my company. I do not have to do much to evoke a smile- a silly look, a tickle, or just pretending to be asleep. It is so much easier to be happy but I often find that I chose not to be. I am quick to be overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life. I need to remember to smile and enjoy the small things that make life wonderful!

We are in the teens!

19 more days to our trip! Can you tell we are excited?

On another note, today was a long day. Claire is going through a major attitude phase. IT is sooo hard to deal with ALL DAY LONG! Thank goodness that tomorrow is a school day for her. I need a break.

The girls and I went to church today and hung out at home. We went to Jeanne's this afternoon and then to a end of summer pool party. The girls had a blast. It was a nice mini break. The only downside is that we didn't get home until 8 pm and they didn't fall asleep until 9:15pm. I hope that the grumps don't come out tomorrow.

Exam

I have applied for a county job and got to step 2- the written exam. I go on Tuesday. I have been taking practice exams from a book I got at the library. I am SO glad that I did this! I would have not been prepared at all! These test are HARD. Things I thought I was good at- I am not! I really hope that I score well enough to make it to step 3- the oral interview. We are in desperate need for another income and working for the county would be icing on the cake! So, wish me luck!

3 weeks to go!

Only 3 more weeks until our vacation! We are so excited! I can hardly wait to have a break from life. I hope that we can enjoy some relaxation and not rush through our days.

On another note, I have applied for a county job and I have a written exam on Tuesday. I really hope that I do well and am able to get a position. We are barely scraping by and I need to find work SOON!

The girls have been very testy lately. I feel like I am living with teenagers- boy do they have some attitude! I hope that this phase is short lived!

Holiday

So today is Labor Day which means we are all home. This can be good or it can be bad. I think everyone had good sleep last night- a key factor in how our day will turn out. Claire has already had a time out but she is on the right track now. I think grumpy daddy was a little too harsh on her. We have no plans today. I think we will probably go on a walk and just hang out.

Later this afternoon I am going to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 with Jeanne. I watched the first one last night to refresh my memory. What a great movie!

On Saturday, Brandon and I went and saw Mamma Mia! It was fantastic. Brandon loved it despite his initial hesitation. It was very well done and FUNNY!

Today marks the start of a new month, September. It is the month of our vacation. We are down to 25 days and I can not believe it! I need to start making a packing list so I am organized and not overwhelmed!

HOT!

Today was HOT! I mean, really HOT!! The girls were invited to a pool party and let me tell you, I thought I was going to melt while I was there! 105 was the high today-not so fun! I wish that I was thinner because I was dying to go in the water. Lets just say that I was a bit irritable by the end of the party. Thank goodness bedtime was right around the corner!

I am working on homework tonight. Brandon is working late and I am reading. I had my first class last night and I really enjoyed it. I was exhausted by the time I got home; it is a lot of information in a four hour period!

We are down to 27 more days until our long anticipated vacation. I can not wait to get away and enjoy time with my family. I am so excited to share Disneyland with Claire and Hannah. They are going to LOVE it!

Feeling anxious

I am feeling anxious today. About finances. I need to let it go- God is in control. I know that His will is perfect and that He will not abandon us. We are blessed beyond our means and all of our needs are presently met. Let it go Katie, Let it go!

Exercise

I just went on a jog/walk for 20 mins. Man am I out of shape! I am going to start following the couch to 5k program. Today was week 1/day1. I really need to get in shape before I really get out of control. I weigh more than I ever have (even pregnant) and I am absolutely disgusted with it! I pray that I will have the stamina and stubbornness needed to kick my butt into gear. I am off to the shower now, as I am dripping in sweat!

A new journey....

I am about to go to my orientation for school. I am entering a degree completion program and Lord willing will have my bachelors in psychology in 19 short months. I am slightly nervous that something is going to happen and I will have to quit school (again).

I have been stressing about money today. I keep surrendering my anxieties to God, just to turn around and pick them back up! Ugggh! Why can't I just let go!!! God knows our circumstances- why am I doubting Him?

40 days and counting

...until our fabulous vacation! We are so excited! The girls ask every day about it and what we are going to do! It is going to be so good to connect with our families and have fun!

Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary! Boy has time flown by! Brandon had to work, so the girls and I hung out- we went to the park and church. Brandon brought home dinner and we all sat down together and ate. After dinner we went on a nice walk. It was a beautiful evening out and it was nice to get moving!

Worship

Today was just another day in the neighborhood. Nothing too exciting. Claire and I watched a friends toddler and then ran some errands. Once we got Hannah from school, we decided that we all needed a nice refreshing Jamba Juice! It was yummy. The girls played babies and school while I made dinner. They also played church. Apparently Claire was the Worship leader. She had her drum and Hannah was on the harmonica. They were singing made up songs about God and Jesus. It was so precious. I thank God that their hearts desire is to worship the Lord! It was a blessing to my soul to hear them!

The Dreaded Drive

Hannah hates going to school. Once she is there, she has a blast. But, the drive there is grueling. It feels like the march to death row! She cries and begs and pleads to stay home. I hate it! I am always so tempted to turn the car around and rescue her from her misery. But, I know that this in not in her best interest. Preschool is good for her. It is where she needs to be. I know that when I go and pick her up, she will have a smile on her face. She will have had a good day.

Productive

Today was a productive day! I am finally feeling better! So is Hannah! Thank goodness. Brandon was off today so he played with Hannah this morning (Claire was at school) while I went down to a temp agency. I was not feeling motivated to go, but I knew that I needed to. I met with a lady there and she emailed me several skills test assessments that I am working on. I really hope that I get a job soon! I am continuing to trust that God is going to work this all out- He has a plan and I am committed to following Him.

This afternoon we headed down to the bike shop to look at road bikes. Brandon wants one soooo bad- I hope we can make it happen for him! Then we went and picked up Claire from school and the kids ran in the sprinklers out back for a while. They had a lot of fun.

I had a MOPs planning meeting tonight. It went well. We are making quite a bit of progress. Brandon had bible study, so the girls went to Jeanne's and watched Enchanted.

Tomorrow is a new day. I have quite a long to do list and I am happy for that. It is nice to be productive.

Its been a LOOOONG day!

Hannah is still sick (read- very fussy) and Claire is bored (read- looking for trouble). I am still not feeling up to par- I just want to sleep! I feel that I am hanging by my last possible thread! Thank goodness Brandon is off for the next two days- I need some help!

Soooo tired!

I don't know what is up with me, but I am exhausted! I can't seem to get enough sleep! I wonder if I am coming down with something- I sure hope not!

The girls are driving me batty with a gazillion questions about Disneyland! They are so excited and want to know everything about it! Only 54 more days....

Brandon is working late tonight- I hate these nights! The girls and I are watching Farm Kids in my bed- SOOO exciting!

God is always at work around you

This is the first of seven realities in the Experiencing God study I am doing. God is working around me. He has a plan. Even though I don't understand it right now, doesn't mean that He is not at work. He calls us to follow Him- even when we don't know where exactly we are going. I am trying so hard to cling to this truth and remain in peace about this transitional time in our lives (yet again!). I know that He will continue to provide and His will will be done!

Praise the Lord for having a plan because I sure don't have one!

Sweaty!

It is HOT today! I am sweaty and irritable. I have been cleaning all day and I am ready for bedtime to be here! Soon....

On another note, we went to Concert in the Park last night and had a BLAST! We saw friends, the kids danced and ran around, and we just had plain ole fun! Next week is the last one and that is a bummer!

Hannah is sick. She has a headache and keeps getting hot then cold. I gave her some advil and she seems better for the moment- poor baby!

The Zoo

Today Brandon I and spent time with Claire. It was so nice to have some one on one time with her. She craves the attention and needs the reassurance that we love and value her. First we took her to the Folsom City Zoo. We had fun walking around and looking at all the animals. We were all ready for lunch after that, so we went and got sub sandwiches and brought them to the park. I forgot how irritating it can be to eat outside. Flies and yellow jackets everywhere! Brandon was so sweet and keep them away while Claire and I ate. After eating and playing at the park, we rode the little steam train and then ended our time by going to the library. It was a full day and I am so thankful for it!

My precious girls

My babies are getting so big. I thought I would post their 4th of July picture. I am amazed by them and can not believe that they are already 3 and 4!

Experiencing God

I have started the Experiencing God workbook, and let me tell you, God is at work. The day after I began this study, became a day of trial for me. In the study, the author discusses how God tells us to follow Him- without knowing all the details. In Matthew, Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, focus on today. Well, I am putting this into practice. I am trusting in Jesus and His will for me. I KNOW that He will be there with me and that God is at work all around me. It is a freeing experience, even in the midst of difficulties.

Agony Ride

This weekend Brandon and I had the opportunity to work at the Agony ride for Christian Encounter Ministries. The agony is their yearly fund raiser- people ride their bikes for 24 hours. I have worked at 6 other agonies and each year I am humbled and amazed and proud. I leave feeling rejuvenated and appreciative of the sacrifice that others are willing to make. The riders come in to the SAG (Stop and Go) stations and they are tired and achy, but they press on. The keep riding. When the sun goes down and it is FREEZING cold overnight, they keep riding. When it is windy and hot, they keep riding. I watch them and feel so proud of them. I am so thankful for them, they are truly God's people. This year over $113k was raised. There was also a new record set- 374 miles! Wow!

Paper Chain Countdown

So we are leaving for vacation in 70 days! I made a paper chain to countdown our time. Claire is constantly asking, "How many days until vacation?" So now she doesn't have to wonder! Let the countdown begin!

Vacation Confirmed

Brandon was able to confirm his vacation time! We are headed to So. Cal on September 26 and will return on October 8. We are going to Palm Springs, Disneyland, and the beach! I can not wait! I am so excited to get away and have some fun with my family. I have a lot of work to do (on myself) before then!

A change in perspective

I have been very bitter and angry lately. I have been short of patience- especially with my kids. I realize that I need to change my perspective on life. I have an expectation that my kids will do exactly what I want them too- we all know that is unrealistic. I need to allow them room to be kids; to take an extra minute to get their shoes on, to wander and enjoy the things around them. I am always in a rush- there really is no need for that! Before I know it they will be grown and I will miss these days. I don't want to look back on my parenting and be full of regrets. So, I am going to try to slow down just a bit and enjoy life.

Cheer for Jesus

I went to church tonight and it was so refreshing. The sermon was on the Day of Atonement. We are studying the book of Leviticus this summer, and I am learning a lot! We learned about the old Testament practice of having a scapegoat take away their sins. We then remembered that Jesus became our scapegoat and took away our sins once and for all. Now that is something to celebrate!

Changes

Hannah starts preschool next week. That means both kids will be in preschool! EEKS- we are going to barely be scraping by. I know that God will provide- we just need to trust in Him. I am anxious about money and worried that something will not work out. We have cut our costs to the BARE minimum already. I am scared. I need to rest in the Lord and worry just about today. I struggle with this in EVERY area of my life. Trust is so hard.

Greetings

Hello! This is my first post. I will be back later to update!