Fall- my favorite time of year

Life has been moving forward full speed ahead! I can't believe it is already November! The holidays are right around the corner. I love this time of year; the anticipation of the holidays, the beautiful change that fall brings, and the reflection of the end of a year. I am trying to slow down and savor the beauty of this time of year. It is so easy to rush through my day and forget to stop and breathe and enjoy. It is so worth the extra minute or two of not letting life rush me forward, but instead pressing pause and savoring the moment.

First Day of School

Well Summer is officially over as of today. The girls started back to school today. I can't believe I have a First and Second grader! This year, Claire is attending the Gateway Academy at a different school, so this morning brought the struggle of who is dropping off who. It came down to Brandon taking Hannah and I taking Claire. I felt bad I wasn't there for Hannah, but I would have felt bad either way. Hard! We are swapping for pick up so I can be a part of both of their first day! It was a bittersweet morning for all of us. We had such a good summer and my goal of being cohesive was definitely accomplished. I am happy for our normal routine to return though. It is hard going 10 weeks with no real routine for each day!

The girls are getting so big and it is days like these that I wish I could freeze time and cherish these milestones. I can't believe my babies are so big- where has the time gone! I look back and see so many mistakes that I have made. I try not to dwell on these, but if I had a "do over" card I would use it! All I can do is keep pressing forward; learning from my mistakes. Each day is a new one! Can't wait to see what this next school year brings!

Lot's to update!

Well Summer is in full swing! I have to say that we have had SO MUCH FUN as a family this summer! We have definitely been busy!

Summer started with a two week visit from Aunt Charlotte and all the cousins. We had our church summer camp the first week- lots of fun and exhaustion! The next week was filled with swimming, drive-in movie, Jelly Belly factory tour, Six Flags, and lots of fun playing in the yard. It was sad when they had to leave; our house felt so empty!

The following week, we got our Taiwanese exchange student, Joanna! She is such a joy to have and we are lucky to still have 2 1/2 weeks left with her. We have enjoyed getting to know her and have taken her Monster Mini Golfing. We plan on going to San Fransisco and Lake Tahoe while she is here.

This week has been eventful in of itself. The girls are going to another Church summer camp this week. Unfortunately Tuesday Hannah broke her right elbow at gymnastics. After 2 resets, were are finally able to breathe easy. She is so bummed out!

We only have a month of summer left. It has gone by quickly so far and I hope to continue to savor time with my family!

Creating Cohesiveness

As the end of the school year is approaching, I am beginning to look at ideas for this summer. I have already planned several things, but there are 10 weeks to fill! I really want to take this time to establish cohesiveness in my family unit. In the craziness of our routine; work, school, extracurricular activities, we have lost the simplicity of just spending time with one another. Quality time. I want to be intentional about regaining this precious gift of time with my husband and daughters. I want to enjoy my family this summer. I don't want to over-schedule our time off, but I do want to create the opportunities to spend quality time together. My hope is that we can find local activities that will pique all of our interests. My mind is swirling with ideas and I can't wait to start brainstorming with Brandon and the girls!

A bit of a better day

Today was better. Easier. I am sure a lot of this has to do with the fact that the girls had school today. I still missed the mark though. I lost patience. I yelled. I recoiled and reminded myself to value the character of the girls more than the misbehavior. It is so hard to change bad habits. I never thought that I would sit here today and reflect on the fact that I yell at my kids. I vowed growing up that I was going to be different. I would be calm. And yet, here I am. Struggling.

It is amazing how much perspective brings to the table. I appreciate my childhood so much more now that I am a mom. I can understand why things happened; why responses seemed harsh. I am living and breathing the challenge of parenting and I am making many of the same mistakes. One thing is for sure, God has softened my heart and brought me compassion I never dreamed I would have.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am so thankful for fresh beginnings. Maybe, just maybe, I can find a little bit more of the patience and calmness I desire...

Not fun being a mommy!

Being a mom sucks sometimes. I never know if I am totally screwing up the girls or if they will turn out okay. I hate discipline and second guessing myself. Am I being to harsh? Should I have handled that differently? Do they need less consequences and more love? UGH! I don't know what to do about Claire's back talk and sassy-ness. She is constantly trying to steer the conversation, get the final word in, and cause me to second guess myself. On more than one occasion she has expressed that she feels like I love Hannah more than I love her. I really believe that she believes this and that she isn't just trying to get a reaction out of me. I don't know how to change her view on this, other than to just love on her. However she is definitely the more hard headed out of the two, and she needs more discipline than Hannah. Hannah cracks easier and seems to learn her lessons after a time out. Claire on the other hand just loves to continue to push the envelope and that brings about more discipline. Why couldn't kiddos come with instructions? I really hope that I can show Claire just how much I love her and that she doesn't grow up needing years of therapy!